Eurovision Review: Semi 2

Lithuania: InCulto- Eastern European Funk.

And the third one to the sack: this was not a good year for the Baltic States. Now, this is at the same time better and worse than Latvia and Estonia, because at least it’s interesting to watch. It starts like epileptic bartenders, goes downhill to stupid, then becomes so stupid it’s brilliant… and then jumps into being even more and more dumb. It takes talent to be under the bottom at that level, sure.

(Although I have to admit something: The background lights? The figures mimicking the singers? This was cuuuuuute and is, by far, the best use of that senseless lights this year. You win, InCulto)

Switzerland: Michael Von Der Heide – Il pleut de L’or

I wouldn’t call it outstanding, but sure it’s a solid performance, with a good use of the fans and the lights and the every little antic that stage could offer. And WOW: a golden jacket with golden pants. I want some, even if they could get me a beating if I went out to the street wearing them.

Sweden: Anna Bergendahl – This is my life.

Stop the whining about the political voting, Sweden, because if any country has ever benefited with block votes it’s you. But honestly, with an act like this, not even you could pass. Everyhing in this act, absolutely everything, is wrong, except the lights and maybe the voice. But the dress is wrong, the backing singers are wrong (if you want her to look like solo, don’t show them), the body language, the final scream… this is too wrong, Sweden! Not even a magical guitar can save her.

If you had sent “Yes man” instead of this I would have voted you top ten, but not with Anna. Sorry.

Netherlands: Sieneke – Ik ben verliefd

If you consider this went right after Alyosha’s boring and depressing song, Shalalie’s lighthearted spirit becomes even more powerful and evident. How could this NOT be voted into the final, Europe? What the hell is wrong with you?

Slovenia: Ansambel Roka Zlindere & Kalamari – Narodnozabavni Rock.

They are doing an awesome work with the lights… and that’s all that can be said about this. They didn’t bother in getting new clothes, new choreography or new anything. The accordion guy is cute, though. If he asked, I’d do him.

Bulgaria: Miro – Angel si ti

No. Just no. What have you done, Bulgaria? You had a classic in your hands and you ruined it! Why did you have to make Miro sing in English? The song was perfect! You gain points for the extragay factor, but you lose them for everything else. Incluing Miro’s clothes.

Croatia: Femminem – Lako Je Sve

Here’s the new trend in the contest: Short skirts with a long tail in the back. If I haven’t mentioned it yet it’s because all the other acts featuring those skirts passed to the final. Femminem didn’t and that really bothers me. This song was good, the performance was good and the choreography was acceptable. And they had a couple of Catwomen!

What was going on in Europe’s minds when they voted Azerbaijan and Ukraine over this?

Don’t answer that.

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