Eurovision review,: First semi of yawn.

I know, around… four months later? Whatever, the songs aren’t going anywhere,so here it is.

This is only a first semi review, which means only non qualifiers are shown. Aaaaanddd… here we go.

Since we’re only getting started, what a worse choice could we make than Rambo Amadeus from Montenegro, dressed like a cheap Nazgul? Seriously, they came back for this? I know he thinks he’s making a point, but seriously.

Then we have Iceland, who did their best to ruin ther song, and Greece who didn’t even need to do their best.

Dear Anmary, why did you replace your cowgirls with flight attendants? Why do you shake your boobs at us? And why…? Weirdweirdweird… you improved a lot since Eirodziesma, girl, but still I’m glad you didn’t qualify. Sorry. The problem isn’t you, or your dress (dazzling, baby!), but your horrible, lame, horrible song. You’re a wasted diva.

Then we have the least and the most danceworthy songs of the pack, one after the other, and then it’s time for Switzerland. It’s all a chain of swimagansteseem and unbreakable that, honestly, is really boring. I don’t get how can somebody call it a gem.

Belgium at least tried to build an atmosphere. Not saying I love her, but it’s a nice effort for a barely out of Junior Eurovision girl. Still, it’s quite forgettable, but not bad bad, just… plain.

Finland is maybe just as plain, but quite better done. Pernilla knows how to stand under a spotlight, can deliver a subtle and underhanded folk, and I’m pretty sure whe would have qualified had she worn a full length dress. But you can’t have everything. The only nonqualifier that I think was clearly good enough to deserve a spot in the final.

I’ll have two of whatever the guys from Israel had. Bouncing clocks, weird faces, random camerawork and the guys from the catwalk really whould jump in every performance of the contest. Not sure if they should have qualified, though.

San Marino, on the other had, is the only non qualifier that I think was bad enough to deserve a spot in the final, but I would’ven’t minded a little more open trolling. Still, I’m mad at Europe for not voting this.

Time for Cyprus, whom I glad they passed, Denmark that should have staid instead of Finland, Russia just because what the fuck, Switze… sorry, Hungary, and…

The last nonqualifier is Austria, which fullfilled all my expectatives. Too bad that I only expected the worst from them. Saying more would be painful.

The last two songs are weird-but-enjoyable-as-always Moldova, and weird-and-not-at-all-enjoyable Ireland. I’m actually surprised that most of the songs I loathed managed to stay on the semifinal, and most of my favorites passed. Thanks, Europe. But I’m still mad at you for not passing San Marino.

The interval acts was a truckload of drums and Azeri tapdancing, with more drums on the second half and some shots of Jedward headbanging and Eleftheria doing the sirtaki. I swear it’s more interesting than it sounds.

Let’s see how things go on the second semi.

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