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Eurovision: Review of the Final.

This will get updated a few times before I finish, because blah blah blah.

I couldn’t see the beginning (screw TVE), but I know it had Alexander Rybak with a slow version of Fairytale and stuff. Whatever. Russia did it better, honestly.

And up to the songs!

Azerbaijan: Safura – Drip Drop.

That’s it, Safura! Take out the barechested dancers, and with them all that could possibly be interesting in your act!  BTW, look at the skirt. This is the fashion I was talking about last post. However, her dress is great (there had to be something good here). For whatever the reason it was, she’s wearing half of a glove, and there’s a man in black parading on the stage. Are we supposed to recognize him?

At the middle of the song, she goes to the little sidestage, they start the fans and she goes super dramatic. And then forgets to go to the center and has to hurry back. I can’t help but laughing every time I see her run.
5th. O Rly, Europe?

Spain: Daniel Diges – Algo pequeñito.

I’m impressed. The choreographer got the dancers in the most akward positions ever conceived, told them to hold the poses… and they did. Then some fucker sneaks onstage and they don’t even blink. Then THE GUARDS go onstage after that loser and they act like they weren’t there. Then the fucker goes onstage again… oh, wait, no, this time it was the backing singer. Also, here’s a nice work witht the fireworks.  Anyway, talk about professionalism.
15th. I wouldn’t mind if he and Safura traded places.

Norway: Didrik Solli-Tangen – My heart is yours.

What a shame. Such a hot man, with such a beautiful face, and specially such an amazing voice, wasted on that lame song! You can see he’s doing his best, but it’s impossible to save the song. Poor boy, poor, poor boy.

And Norway went simple and elegant about the antics. In fact, I was surprised that they put a lot of things on the stage, and only use lights for most of the song, and fireworks for like the last five seconds.
20th. The song deserved it. The singer didn’t.

Moldova: Olia Tira and Sunstroke Project – Run away

Now here are the antics! Because if it weren’t for acts like this, the contest would be too cheap! A violinist on a spinning platform, with a skeleton fluorescent violin! A girl doing her best to look at her worst, and then a sax and ohwaitwhatthehellishedoing???!!! Dude! There might be kids watching! Stop doing… THAT to the sax! Two dudes open their shirts to see if they can smug the gay vote, and the violinist makes faces. This is great!
22nd. What?

Cyprus: Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders – Life looks better on spring.

Here we have a high school band going to Eurovision. With a sweet song and a cute singer. I’m in love with Jon and with the song. For once, Eurovision was fair and had them at least pass to the final. You can tell Cyprus is not used to it because they didn’t know there were antics to use. Just lights. Cyprus, oh, Cyprus, I love you!
21st. Justice is in the floor, sore and bleeding. That’s at least 18 places lower than it deserved.

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Vukasin Brajic – Thunder and Lightning

Hey, look! There’s a fog machine! And intermitent lights with sound effects so we can realize the song is about thunders. Subtlety seems to be out of fashion this year.  And we get soft rock. So soft he puts his guitar carefully on the floor instead of smashing it. Too soft.
17th. And yet too high for the song.

Belgium: Brendan Fraser Tom Dice and his guitar.

This is kinda hipocritical, you know. Dude sings about how he and his guitar fight alone against the world. Dude has backing singers. Dude is a reality show runner-up!

Even with that, I liked the idea of dude singing on the catwalk. It gave the song a more intimate, close feeling. If something could make me forgive dude, it would be that.
6th. Sigh.

(Excuse me, I’m going to replay Jon Lilygreen. If you want to go indie, that’s how you do it)

Serbia: Milan Stankovic – Ovo je balkan.

Milan has teleporting booths, ready to take us from Crap land… to Craptastic land! After I read the translation of the lyrics, and heard the Spanish version, I don’t know if he should be tarred and feathered for singing it, or congratulated for daring to sing it.

Same goes for the performance, the dresses, and well, basically everything. It takes the bad taste beyond the extreme, right where it starts to become awesome.
13th. I would still have kept it on the semi.

Belarus: 3+2 – Butterflies.

If you ever wanted to see the lovechild of Tinkerbell and Mr. Lordi, watch at these women: unfurling wings, but, unlike Mr. Lordi’s, they sparkle. If Tomii Putaansu ever saw this, I bet he’d run to his bed and cover his head with the blankets. It’s scary. (My brother, a die-hard alternative rock fan, watched this and said he would need therapy after that. He didn’t)

The dresses, though, are fabulous. There have been entire editions with less glitter. And they obviously glued their feet to the ground so they wouldn’t accidentaly move and… there were no antics. They even didn’t change the lights more than once. Wow. So over the top, and yet so classy.

And one last thing: you have three women and two men, and the only name you can come up with is 3+2? Subtlety is in the floor with it’s nose broken.
24th, because… I don’t know.

Ireland: Niamh Kavannagh – It’s for you

Now, this is how a diva takes the stage: In a spectacular way and wearing a gorgeous dress! Look at the backing singers…. they are so mesmerized by her diva power that they don’t move at all. She can sing, not so much as many say, but she can, and the song is good… but she’s late by like fifteen years.
23rd. Damn. Even Charlotte did better with “Hero”, and she was waaaay cheaper than this.

Greece: Giorgos Alkaios & Friends – OPA!

Here it comes: the most overrated song this year. The singer doesn’t have a remarcable voice, or a remarcable presence, he isn’t hot, the song is kinda plain and without a good choreography, and even if the backing dancers are hot, they forgot their leather suits and had to dance on their pajamas.

Oh, and he promised a big surprise, never before seen, and what do we get? Fireworks in he drums. Meh.
8th, because Greece ALWAYS makes top ten. The times they don’t deserve it too.

UK: Josh Dubovie – That sounds good to me.

I hate doing this. And I hate it because I like the song but… Josh can’t sing. Not a single note. I would actually cry if the song wasn’t so lightearted and happy. Oh, and it’s totally obvious that he hooked up with at least one of the backing dancers last night.

25th and last. Why, UK, why?

Georgia: Sopho Nizharadze – Shine

Let’s face it: She was the best singer in the final. If you don’t believe me, just watch. The guys take her by her lungs and shake her, and she still keeps the tune. Nothing can come after that. Add that these are the best male chests we’re gonna see on the night (I know, it’s sad) and we have a winning combination.

9th. Well done, girl.

Turkey: MaNgA -We could be the same.

We can say what we want, but at least they are original. Dark scenery, a robot shaking it’s ass, a guy with a Jesus Christ complex… rock music! Are we sure they are the Turkish representatives and not some folks who got on the wrong stage?

By the end of the song, the robot starts cutting itself open, and there’s a girl inside. I’m not sure what are they trying to say.  It’s a highly conceptual performance. Or total rubbish, I’m not sure what. And then, the girl goes and seduces the lead singer, and they almost kiss. But it would be too straight for the contest. May be they do know where they are.

2nd. I’m not sure if they deserve it.

Albania:  Juliana Pasha – It’s all about you.

We have a say here in Mexico: The rich gone poor still has more than the poore gone rich.  Juliana being a perfect example of this:  She got a fat violinist slave, Whoopi Goldberg as a backing singer, a bad haircut and a tamer version of her original self… and she still outpowers any other contestant. Right about time of a GREAT act this year.

My brother, who was hiding in his room, goes out just to say he has heard this song so many times he even knows the lyrics. He doesn’t, of course, but it’s true that I might have overplayed it… except that a song like this can never be overplayed. There’s never enough.

15th. Fuck you, Europe.

Iceland: Hera Bjork – Je ne sais quoi

Beware Hera Bjork! She’s bigger than you, she’s better than you, and now she has minions! Little Heras parading all over the stage! And the background lights look like the electricians are on acid!

This is the second song in a row my brother recognizes, and I’m sure I played this a lot less than Juliana’s. In case you needed a proof this song is terrific. I love you, Hera.

19th, because Europe is out of it’s collective mind.

Ukraine: Alyosha – Sweet people.

With all the problems in their national selection, the Ukrainian broadcaster messed up, and sent a hobo instead of Alyosha.

No, wait, it IS Alyosha, it’s only that she’s dressed like a hobo. If there was any justice in the world, this would sweep at the Barbara Dex Award.

(In case you wonder, it didn’t)

The song is super-dramatic, super-hard, super-fan-enhanced and plain super-boring. But at least she can sing, and gets kudos for being the only artist in the night who dared to go truly solo.

10th. Damn me if I know why.

France: Jessy Matador – Allez! Olá! Olé!

Everything, absolutely everything, is wrong with this act, in a way InCulto can’t even dream to achieve. First a dude villagepeopleing, then he moves like he’s looking for a beach, a girl sings a little, they shake their crotches, and a full 10 seconds of bottom-shaking. And the way he says hello to the camera is the most stupid thing you’re gonna se in this contest. Even worse than InCulto’s sparkly trousers. A girl spanks Jessy’s ass, and we see a good looking dude with a horrible voice. He rips his shirt, but the camera never focuses on his chest. Too sad. Not that it could save this… thing, but at least there would have been something good to look at.

The nonsense goes on for another minute, and they keep on moving and yelling after the music stops. Right when you thought it couldn’t get any dumber.

By this moment, my brother is in shock and needs to go back to his room. Poor child.

12th. Like WTF, Europe.

Romania: Paula Seling & Ovi – Playing with fire.

You can’t say they aren’t putting effort. They got glowing fingers and real fire. The song truly is about fire, got it? I would have preferred both of them holding flamethrowers, but I doubt Norway would be pleased if they actually “burned this place down”. Although I would have loved it.

3rd. May be if they had destroyed the stage it would have been fair.

Russia: Peter Nalitch & Band – Lost and Forgotten

After fire, we get SNOW. And really, really bad quality. So bad it becomes funny and gets my brother to the couch again. When Peter looks at the “photo” we start cracking down, and by the time they start the fans we’re almost rolling on the floor. Peter,  my dopamine levels thank you.

(Oh, and almost a year later, when I’m reviewing this, my bro still recognized the song in the first fifteen seconds. It was THAT funny)

11th. Apparently, Europe doesn’t know crap about music.

Armenia: Eva Rivas – Apricot Stone.

That’s it. Subtlety is officially dead.

And I’m not talking about the boobflash on the very beginning (although that was smooth as a rhino) , but about the show. She has an apricot stone, hidden in her hand. You get it? Just like in the lyrics! And in case you haven’t got the idea yet, there’s an Eva-sized apricot stone in the middle of the stage.

And subtlety isn’t the only thing dead here. They also killed the act. It was perfect as it was in the national final! I don’t care if that guy is a national legend, or if you’re aiming for the Oldest People in Eurovision Record: KEEP. THE. HOOD.

KEEP. THE . SIMPLICITY.

And specially, KEEP. THE. DRESS. You don’t put jeans on a girl who’s singing an ethnic ballad. You just don’t, Armenia.

7th. Sigh.

Germany: Lena – Satellite.

There have been three times in the contest when I can tell for sure the victory has been because of politics: 1990 (Italy), 2003 (Turkey) and 2007 (Serbia).

This year isn’t so blatant, but yet I suspect Merkel’s hands had to do with Lena winning. Because Germany is paying the crisis for everybody else, and because I can’t see anything that would make this a worthy winner. They kept it in the same half-good level it has on the preview.

1st. I guess no other country was willing to pay for next year’s contest.

Portugal: Filipa Azevedo – Há Dias Assim

Now, this is one who did improve: her singing got better, her makeup got better, and even the dress got better. Not enought to take her to the big leagues, but it’s a worthy effort. Some moments she even looks pretty.

I have to say I admire Portugal’s determination… or cluelessness. They refuse totally to acknowledge the fact that any language other than English just doesn’t have a chance, and keep on sending their songs, in their language. That’s brave.

18th.

Israel: Harel Skaat – Milim

Another stubborn country. Less than Portugal (Or say… Spain or France), but yet, they stick to their own language more than most countries. And man, don’t they do an awesome job. Harel is gorgeous, the song is gorgeous and the stage show is gorgeous. He could have sung better, though, but with those looks I’m willing to forgive him almost anything.

14th. Too low.

Denmark: Chaneé & N’evergreen – In a moment like this

After all this, Denmark comes to teach us how you’re supposed to put on a good stage show, and suddenly they look like the only ones who truly know what they’re doing.

N’evergreen lost his suit and borrowed Juliana’s, even if it looked better on her. Chaneé is wearing a weird dress, and when the fans start I worry, because if they can move his hair that way, what won’t they do to her skirt. But somehow the skirt survives, and they go on to an epic closure. Way to make everybody else look like amateurs, Denmark.

4th. And well earned.

Then Spain goes to perform again, this time without intruders, we get a flashmob that most of people loved (I found it boring, except for the Verka Serduchka cameo), here come the votes and Lena wins. Bleh.

Alex Rybak goes onstage to give her the award and she asks him for a kiss. He points to his cheek. Bitch kisses him on the mouth and poor Alex runs away as fast as he can. I would too, totally. Then he tries to cover up urging the crowd to cheer for Lena. I won’t, sorry.

That was it. The top five, according to Europe, was:

1. Germany
2. Turkey
3. Romania
4. Denmark
5. Azerbaijan

My personal top five was:

1.  Albania
2. Cyprus
3. Iceland
4. Georgia
5. Denmark

The couch’s top five was:

1. Iceland
2. Spain
3. Albania
4. Denmark
5. Cyprus

Off to the next year.

In later news, Lena’s gonna represent Germany again. Sorry, but I don’t think the trick will work twice, so a Satellite clone won’t do. And everything that isn’t a Satellite clone would need more than Lena’s capable of, so I predict a bottom ten placing for Germany. Maybe even a bottom five.

Eurovision Review: Semi 2

Lithuania: InCulto- Eastern European Funk.

And the third one to the sack: this was not a good year for the Baltic States. Now, this is at the same time better and worse than Latvia and Estonia, because at least it’s interesting to watch. It starts like epileptic bartenders, goes downhill to stupid, then becomes so stupid it’s brilliant… and then jumps into being even more and more dumb. It takes talent to be under the bottom at that level, sure.

(Although I have to admit something: The background lights? The figures mimicking the singers? This was cuuuuuute and is, by far, the best use of that senseless lights this year. You win, InCulto)

Switzerland: Michael Von Der Heide – Il pleut de L’or

I wouldn’t call it outstanding, but sure it’s a solid performance, with a good use of the fans and the lights and the every little antic that stage could offer. And WOW: a golden jacket with golden pants. I want some, even if they could get me a beating if I went out to the street wearing them.

Sweden: Anna Bergendahl – This is my life.

Stop the whining about the political voting, Sweden, because if any country has ever benefited with block votes it’s you. But honestly, with an act like this, not even you could pass. Everyhing in this act, absolutely everything, is wrong, except the lights and maybe the voice. But the dress is wrong, the backing singers are wrong (if you want her to look like solo, don’t show them), the body language, the final scream… this is too wrong, Sweden! Not even a magical guitar can save her.

If you had sent “Yes man” instead of this I would have voted you top ten, but not with Anna. Sorry.

Netherlands: Sieneke – Ik ben verliefd

If you consider this went right after Alyosha’s boring and depressing song, Shalalie’s lighthearted spirit becomes even more powerful and evident. How could this NOT be voted into the final, Europe? What the hell is wrong with you?

Slovenia: Ansambel Roka Zlindere & Kalamari – Narodnozabavni Rock.

They are doing an awesome work with the lights… and that’s all that can be said about this. They didn’t bother in getting new clothes, new choreography or new anything. The accordion guy is cute, though. If he asked, I’d do him.

Bulgaria: Miro – Angel si ti

No. Just no. What have you done, Bulgaria? You had a classic in your hands and you ruined it! Why did you have to make Miro sing in English? The song was perfect! You gain points for the extragay factor, but you lose them for everything else. Incluing Miro’s clothes.

Croatia: Femminem – Lako Je Sve

Here’s the new trend in the contest: Short skirts with a long tail in the back. If I haven’t mentioned it yet it’s because all the other acts featuring those skirts passed to the final. Femminem didn’t and that really bothers me. This song was good, the performance was good and the choreography was acceptable. And they had a couple of Catwomen!

What was going on in Europe’s minds when they voted Azerbaijan and Ukraine over this?

Don’t answer that.

Eurovision review: Semi 1

Yeah, almost a year after. Blame lots of things of STFU.

I will only review here the ones that didn’t pass, because I’m lazy.

Estonia: Malcolm Lincoln and Manpower 4 – Siren.

Well, at leas one song this year got the oblivion it deserved. I don’t understand how people can say it’s a masterpiece and too good for Eurovision.  It’s the closest a song with lyrics can get to abstract art. Yup, I don’t get it.

Slovakia: Kristina Pelakova – Horehronie.

The fact that this didn’t pass is, to say it mild, outrageous. Kristina, honey, you were robbed. But guess what? It was your own fault. Well, of your camera director. You had the best act in the contest and we couldn’t see it because all the takes were either close-ups, long range pans or taken in weird angles. I watched this and got the feeling of “WTF is going on in that stage”. Show me the choreography. SHOW ME THE CHOREOGRAPHY!

Finland: Kuunkuiskajat – Työlkii Elaä

And this… this is even more outrageous! They had the perfect mix of sillyness, fun and class. Oh, Finland, I love you!

Latvia: Aisha – What for?

What the hell is she wearing? And for what purpose? They plucked her eyebrows to make her gaze like Oliver Twist, and she’s wearing a big crucifix around her neck because otherwise we wouldn’t know her song is about God.  Oh, my. And we’ve not even started with the song and the voice. And we won’t because is too painful. If there’s something redeeming here is that we finally get to see the lights at work.

Poland: Marcin Mrozinski – Legenda.

I’m sorry… what was that about? I guess there was a story in there, with all the apples, strangulation and stuff  (Apple bowling! Brilliant!) but I got lost after the first minute.

Malta: Thea Garrett – My dream.

Really, dude, what do you have to do to qualify here? She has a good song, a great voice, a huge bird laying at her fet and bad hair! This act was perfect for Eurovision! Why, Mr. God, why?

Macedonia: Gjoko Taneski – Jas ja imam silata.

I wonder how much they paid to get Madonna as a backing dancer. And it didn’t paid off, mostly because a rapper sabotaged their act. Awful!

And that’s it. The non-qualifiers on the first semifinal.

Eurovision Junior 2010: Preview

Eurovision Junior 2010 is in two days or so and yup, I haven’t commented. And I’ve got an exam to study for tomorrow, so this is gonna be really fast:

All the preview videos and etceteras are here, and I’m only going to comment them:

Lithuania is sending Zac Efron… sorry, I just got messed up. His name is Bartas, he’s fourteen and really, what are childs eating in Lithuania? He looks like an 1.80m Ken doll. When he’s seventeen he’s not going to join a boyband: He’s going to BE a boyband. Why sharing the stage with other boys?

The song, Oki Doki, is what you could expect: pop-ish, electronical and factory made. I like it.  And Lithuania gains the dubious distinction of sending to the Junior contest a better act than the one they sent to the main one.

Moldova brings us Stefan Roscovan with Alli-Baba.

After watching the rehearsals, he’s my candidate for a potential darkhorse. This song can make a really good act with the right choreography. And I’d say he has it.

Netherlands has Anna and Senna with My Family.

Oh, my. I don’t speak Dutch, and yet I can realiza how awful these lyrics must be. There’s a thin line between political correctness and bad taste, and these girls felt in the wrong side. Even so, they’re cute (And have a violin, violins are awesome!), specially the one who looks like Natalie Portman.

From Serbia, Sonja Škori? with ?arobna no?.

So, this is why Ovo Je Balkan was so shitty: Sonja had taken all the quality Serbia was allowed to spend this year. Shame on you, Sebia, your Junior act is kilometers above the adult one. Sonja actually could represent her country in the adult contest without any shame… and she’s one of the few kids this year that can carry a good tune without trouble.

(And here we can see how JESC, just like ESC, has it’s own bandwagons for everybody to jump in. It’s obvious that, as past year a 14-year old won, this year many countries will send older kids. There are few with representatives under thirteen)

Ukraine sends Yulia Gurska with Miy Litak.

The song isn’t half bad, but it isn’t in the same league than the big players this year. And, considering how my instints work, it actually could win (I have never been good at guessing)

Representing Sweden, Josephine Ridell with Allt jag vill ha.

And 2010 will pass to the history as The Year Sweden sent Boring Songs to Eurovision. Like, really, really boring. Both of them.

Now, ¿Remember how, after their first victory with ABBA, Sweden has kept sending ABBA reprises to the main contest? ¿And remember how Russia won the Junior contest with a jazz act?

Well, they sent the Tolmachevy twin’s evil twin the following year, and now are trying to doit again: Sasha Lazin and Liza Drozd, with love from Russia, singing Boy and Girl. Just like the Tolmachevy sisters, but now with mixed genders!

Latvia brings Viva la Dance in the voice of Sarlote Lenmane and the Sea Stones.

Another one to the sack: Watch and learn, Aisha: this is how you represent your country in an international song contest: Holding your tune. She seems to be hot in the polls, and I wouldn’t be angry if whe won, even if she’s not my favorite.

Belgium sends Anna and Senna… wait, we already were through this, didn’t we?

Wait, sorry, my mistake: Belgium sends Jill and Lauren with Get Up!. They’re just like Anna and Senna, except that they sing better and their melody is worse.

Armenia somehow managed to clone Dino Jelusic, speeding the clone’s growth so it looks like he’s twelve, called him Vladimir Arzumanyan and sent him to sing Mama. The problem is that they didn’t get a song as good as Dino’s, but this kid can sing and has lots of charm, so I’d say he stands a chance. But again, don’t trust my instinct.

(Besides, the fact that I think in three years from now he’s going to be an awfully hot dude makes me feel biased. And guilty)

Nicole Azzopardi, singing Knock knock! Boom boom!, comes from Malta.

One of the many things I hated about Safura’s Drip drop, (besides the song being completely pointless) was the way Safura moved to it. She tried to “drip drop” with her hands and head… and failed. Nicole, obviously, doesn’t have a problem. She knocks just like you’re supposed to knock when you’re knocking. Besides, she’s cute, has personality, and the song is one of the best this year. Go Nicole!

Belarus forgot to send a song.

Really.

Well, actually not, but Daniil Kozlov singing Muzyki Svet makes you wish they had. The song is bad, he can’t sing and there’s no way to fit a choreography in it. Damn, I miss Alexei. I even miss Ksenia. And the guys who sang Tantsui. What happened to you, Belarus?

Now let’s come to Georgia. Either I’m high or… no, I’m not high. They’re actually sending one of those songs: Mari-Dari, by Mariam Kakhelishvili.

¿Remember that Sweden won with ABBA? Now, remember how Georgia won JESC with an acid trip in a made up language? Well, they’re trying to get Europe to buy that again, but this time is even worse. This time it’s a solo girl. With minions. It’s scary.

And finally, Macedonia has Anja Veterova with Eooo, eooo.

JESC has got it’s own Aisha this year: Anja suffers of a very gross case of the Aisha disease. The song would actually be pleasant if she didn’t yell.

If I were a country, my points would be this way:

12 for Malta

10 for Latvia

8 for Serbia

7 for Armenia

6 for Moldova

5 for Lithuania

4 for Russia

3 for Netherlands

2 for Georgia

1 for Macedonia+

0 for Ukraine, Sweden, Belarus and Belgium.

Road to Eurovision 2010: Semi-1

Here we go: this is the preview for the first Semifinal on Eurovision 2010. There are ceirtan things I hope get changed for the actual performances on the contest, as these are only the ones on the national finals, but I think it gives us a glimpse about how it can get in time. The acts featured in this semifinal are listed below:

SunStroke Project and Olia Tira represent  Moldova with “Run Away”
Peter Nalitch and Friends represent  Russia with “Lost and Forgotten”
Malcolm Lincoln and Manpower 4 represent  Estonia with “Siren”
Kristina represents  Slovakia with “Horehronie”
Kuunkuiskaajat represent  Finland with “Työlki Ellää”
Aisha represents  Latvia with “What For?”
Milan Stankovi? represents  Serbia with “Ovo je Balkan
Vukašin Braji? represents  Bosnia and Herzegovina with “Thunder and Lightning”
Marcin Mrozi?ski represents  Poland with “Legenda”
Tom Dice represents  Belgium with “Me and My Guitar”
Thea Garrett represents  Malta with “My Dream”
Juliana Pasha represents  Albania with “It’s All About You”
Giorgos Alkaios and Friends represent  Greece with “OPA”
Filipa Azevedo represents  Portugal with “Há dias assim”
Gjoko Taneski, Billy Zver and Pejcin represent  Macedonia with “Jas ja imam silata“
3+2 represent  Belarus with “Butterflies”
Hera Björk represents  Iceland with “Je ne sais quoi”

The rest of the post, under a cut because so many youtube videos make some browsers crash:

Sigue leyendo

Questionable Families.

I think I’ve never adressed the issue, but in fact I’m a webcomic addict.

In the Spanish language webcomic world, my all-time favorites are Leie (including the Eledos sequel), Fantasmitas and, specially, Planeta Absurdo.

In the English world, I’m a die-hard fan of Sinfest, Inverloch and Lackadaisy, just to say the best ones.

And, of course, Questionable Content. I think is the only webcomic that manages to combine a consistent high quality with frequent updates. Yeah, Sinfest updates even more often (and in it’s high points reaches heights QC has yet to achieve) but some of the strips are rather bland. Lackadaisy has an apalling visual quallity, but sometimes takes a month or two for the next update. Leie and Planeta Absurdo are the kings of sick humor, but also get pretty irregular every now and then.

And Inverloch is ended.

But I’m not going to compare (more than I already did, at least). Today I’ll write about an issue that has been bugging me for a few weeks, about the characters in QC. And, specially, their families.

Most of them, referring only to the ones we know their families, seem to have either conflicts with them or come from unorthodox families.

For example, Marten. His family appears to be functional in a really unusual way, but it works in spite all they’ve been throug. Just think for a moment: even before Marten knew what sex was, his father was having it with men. And his mother was having it while wearing leather and high heels. (almost, gotta check if he some time states the exact age he was when his parents divorced)

Now, despite it, his parents still share good relationships. Marten gets along with both of them, and as far as we know, they are in good terms. An example? Veronica says about Henry and his new partner that they are “A better couple than [Henry and me] ever were”

Another one? Henry asks Veronica for her permision to marry that said new partner. And she gives it happily… only conditioning it to Marten’s aproval, which also offers us a glimpse of how much they value their son’s opinion and love. And when permision is asked, Marten’s only concern is Henry’s happyness. So yeah, they’re functional, but a family formed by a gay gay club owner, an S&M MILF and their bossaroundable son is everything but orthodox.

What about Dora?

Her mother is barely sane, she’s got deep issues to work out about Sven, and she and her father get off with pictures of the same woman. (who at the end happens to be the mother of Dora’s boyfriend). I rest my case.

Let’s take Faye. Her father commited suicide infront of her, damn it. Even skipping the part “in front of her”, which was unintended, he commited suicide (and we’ll never know why), and it doesn’t take a lot of hindsight to realize they have never fully recovered, unsurprisingly. So yeah, Faye, Amanda and mommy Whitaker are in good terms, but from certain point of view, are barely functional.

Penelope’s a fierce atheist, while her parents are fundamentalist christians. Yeah, they can get kinda a truce, as she did with Will (or so it seems), but first, Will is not that a fundamentalist, and second, he’s not her father, so he wouldn’t have the urge to “set her in the right way”. It would be interesting to see Pen-Pen interacting with her family, but at this point, we should consider ourselves lucky if we get to SEE her.

And let’s not even start with Hanners. Both her parents are billionaires, but (maybe because they are) none of them actually cares about her. Mom Chatham ignores what mothers and daughters are supossed to do together, and daddy Elicott built a robot so her daughter could have sex.

Stop it.

It’s HANNER’S family what we’re talking about. Of course it can’t be functional!

So, the only character who actually has a “normal” family, both in the sense of “orthodox” and “functional”, is perhaps the last we would think: Raven.  We haven’t met them, seen them or known a lot about them, but she doesn’t seem to have problems with them (she stated wishing to “follow their footsteps” in science) or deep issues to work out.

Marten would come next, with a family that is everything but orthodox, but still manages to work incredibly well. Faye’s family does pretty good considering all things that they’ve been through, but Dora, Penelope and Hanners (in descending order) are a lot less lucky with their families. Although all of them lead rather succesful lives (even Hanners… kind of),  all of them seem to have trouble with their families.

Of course, we don’t know anything about Tai’s family. Or Wil’s, or even Steve’s. Altough, considering how cool Steve is, his parents must be awesome and Jeph, please please please let him have a little brother. We could get clues surfing through the strips, but I’ve got some homework to do.

U didn’t get mad…

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the Abu Grahib photos.

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city drown.

You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when.. when… wait for it… when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all ok with you but helping other Americans… well f*ck that. That about right? You know it is.

(Según parece, basta con navegar por los foros de 4chan, de donde saqué este mensaje, para obtener material suficiente para posts por un buen rato)

English post: Why couldn’t she just say “World Peace”?

Well, it has made a lot of sound, so most people should know what am I talking of when I mention Miss Carrie Prejean. In case they don’t, here’s a quick excerpt:

Carrie Prejean was Miss California 2009, and she was the favorite to win the Miss USA Pageant. But, in one of the lasts round of questions, Perez Hilton asked her about her opinion about legalisation of gay marriage in all USA. The answer was (quoting Wikipedia):

“Well I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. You know what, in my country, in my family, I do believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.”

So…

Lets see: Is it great to have the choice, but you think it should be only between a man and a woman?

Honestly, doesn’t make sense to me.

But then, everybody knows what’s next. She didn’t win and ended as runner-up. Everybody, starting with Perez Hilton himself, said that answer was the reason she lost the crown. And she in a sudden became the new Bigot Marthyr Poster Girl. Another copy here.

I’ve seen some places which state that her civil rights were violated, as she didn’t get to win because she excercised her free speech. Kind of this:

funny pictures

O RLY?

Actually, I said she didn’t lost her crown for what she believes, and we should think carefully before we say she lost because of what she said. We could say she lost because she stood on a certain political posture. Anybody could ask what’s the difference. I mean, everybody has the right to stand the political posture they believe on, right?

Well, yeah. But we are forgetting something: the question rounds in Miss USA Pageant are to evaluate the contestants in every way possible, to see if they fit or not the profile required for the winner. If they thought she didn’t fit because she lacked empathy or something else, well… that’s what pageant judges are for.

Imagine for a second she had said she believed global warming and ozone hole are hoaxes, and we shouldn’t care about CO2 emissions, CFC’s, energy wasting and so on. Would I have to post this? Not at all. Everybody would agree such an answer would worth the de-qualification. Or at least, the loss of many points.

Marriage is the same, just with a more delicate issue, and one where there isn’t the same level of agreement there is for environment care. O.K, I admit it, one where there isn’t any level of agreement. But, just as Carrie Prejean has the right to stand for her beliefs, don’t the judges have the same right? If they think being opossite to gay marriage shows a personality less desirable to become Miss USA, we should grant them the same right Carrie Prejean had. She could express her beliefs, while being broadcasted to national audience. Don’t the judges have the right to express their beliefs through their votes?

Now, that’s one thing. Another is jump, insult Prejean (who, in fac, expressed her views in a sincere and respectful way, and both things are pretty respectable) and call her “Dumb Bitch” like Hilton did. It’s not playing fair.  We can argue with her, ideas against ideas and not people against people. She looked like someone reasonable enough to talk to her about the issue. Insulting doesn’t lead to anything.

The funny thing is that most of the storm created after this… wasn’t caused by Prejean at all. It was caused by Hilton and some other gay supporters in one side, and NOM and NOM-like organizations in the other. That’s senseless and useless.

(I won’t talk about her topless photos. Even if they show her lack of coherence, it would be an Ad hominem attack)

Just one las thing: She said she was proud with her decission, didn’t regret her statements, and yet felt like a winner. Could we, please, leave it as it is?