This is Europe not giving a shit. (Part 1)

Seriously, what happened to Europe this year? Apparently, just knowing that the Eurovision host city is even farther from Europe than Moscow made half of the countries think “Well, what the hell” and show it in their acts in some way or another. Or maybe nobody wants to host because of the crisis, I don’t know.

What I know is this year started in a really disheartening way. The earliest half of the songs revealed was (with the glorious exceptions of Iceland and Cyprus) an amazing display of boringness and mediocrity. Even if later things got back in track and we ended with a not-so-bad year (although it’s not, by far, as good as the previous two), I still have the impression that this year lots of countries. Simply. Don’t. Care.

So, to start with the first round:

(This will get updated lots of times until I end the songs of the first semi. If you read this and it’s still not finished, come back in a week or so)

Montenegro: Rambo Amadeus – Euro Neuro

This is Montenegro not giving a shit. I have to admit, though, I thought this would be a lot worse than it turned out. When I knew they had selected an artist named “Rambo Amadeus”, I thought the song would be an unphatomable piece of crap, and this… isn’t. It’s just the closest a song can get to white noise without being actual white noise.  I know, it’s supposed to have a deep message about materialism and stuff, but that message will never be heard when it’s so plain dead boring.

Iceland: Gréta Salóme & Jónsi – Never Forget

Yeah, they changed it to English later, but I’m posting the original, live version, because it’s gorgeous. Really, when a so minimalist staging can make something look so beautiful, it will do wonders  with lights and sequin and a little smoke. I SO want this to win right now…

Greece: Eleftheria Eleftheriou – Aphrodisiac

This is Greece not giving a shit. They’re broke, with riots, a fresh new president imposed by the same banks that led them to bankrupcy…  one would say that that, considering not even Stereo Mike could prevent them from reaching the top 10, they wouldn’t dare sending ANYTHING that had a chance of winning.

Guess what? They’re doing it anyway, because that’s how they roll. Even if they are so bankrupt they had to stage their national final in a MALL (that alone deserves its own post, by the way) . Helena… I mean, Eleftheria manages to put on an amazing act. Yes, it looks a lot like My Number One, but it’s original enough not to be a copy. And it’s just simply amazing. Are you sure about this, Greece? Because I love it, but I won’t love if the next contest is in the backyard of the OGAE Greece headquarters.

Latvia: Anmary – Beautiful Song

This is Latvia, clearly not giving a shit. There’s a reason I always follow closely the Eirodziesma: I know it’s gonna be full of amazing artists… and none of them is gonna win. Even if they don’t send the worst artist of the lot (Thank you, thank you, Latvia, for sparing us the Mad Show Boys and Disco Superfly!) , they chose a troll act without any personality about how ridiculous is Eurovision and how stupid we are for watching it. The most tragic part (besides knocking out one of the best songs I’ve ever heard without even revealing the name of the artist) is that I really like Anmary’s voice. I wish she had a real song for a change. What’s wrong with you, Latvia of the Brainstorm and Lauris Reiniks stunning quality?

I’m so mad at you right now.

Albania: Rona Nishliu – Suus

I’m not totally convinced about this, you know. Yeah, it’s a good dramatic ballad, and she manages to howl it conveying totally the feelings of loneliness and desperation any dramatic ballad needs, but… she tries too hard. Still, if she stands under a spotlight, with smoke and not a single fancy thing, it might work.

Romania: Mandinga -Zaleilah

This is Romania, kicking ass at not giving a shit! Here they are with drummers, bad English, bad Spanish, a guy with the best afro I’ve seen in my life and freaking bagpipes, all of that thinking they’re the greatest thing ever and almost making us believe they are. Oh, my, I love this!

Switzerland: Sinplus – Unbreakable

This is Switzerland and me not giving a shit. The song is not bad, just absolutely forgettable. Sorry, but bland rock has never been my cup of tea, and I really wish this was the only time in the year I have to say this.

Belgium: Iris – Would you?

Wow, we managed to get quite far before the first Disney Ballad popped up, but… yeah, we just had to have it. The delivery’s clumsy, though. She has a nice voice, but a bad singing. I’m still willing to give it a second chance in the semi, but only one.

Finland: Pernilla Karlsson – Nar jag blundar

This is Finland, so not giving a shit they’re sending a song in Swedish.. I like it, it has a nice flow, and a sweet ethnic flavour that doesn’t force itself on you, but I honestly don’t think this will pass. Also, Robyn Hood only distracts from the song. Make her go away, please.

Israel: Izabo – Time

Why does this remind me of Brainstorm? And why I ike it? The style is weird, the singer is weird,the song is weird, the singing is weird, but still I like it, even if I don’t have the slightest clue about how are they gonna put on a show with this.

San Marino: Valentina Monetta – The Social Network Song (Uh Oh Oh)

This is San Marino, not giving a shit by any conceivable definition and trolling everything that can be trolled and even some things that can’t. I’m usually not into troll acts, but this is so glorious even I have to admire it.

Here’s the full story: San Marino had originally sent this song with the title “Facebook, uh, oh, oh“. With music by Ralph Motherfucking Siegel and lyrics so bad that would put Rebecca Black to shame, and a video to match (and the comparison to Rebecca Black extends to the video). It took the EBU around five seconds to decide the song broke the rules that forbid commercial messages and give the country four days to change it or GTFO.

Then comes the best part: the lyricist did a hard brainstorming and retitled it “The social network song” and changed every instance of “Facebook” in the lyrics with things like “Hello”, “Oh oh”, “Network”, and my personal favorite, “Beep beep”. Without any other change. This is,ladies and gentlemen, the most epic trolling in the history of Eurovision. Sorry, Silvia Night, but you just were out-trolled.

Cyprus: Ivi Adamou – La la love

This might be the best song in the contest (well, second only to Iceland), and the fact that she clearly has the time of her life singing it just makes it even better, but… we still don’t know how the delivery will because the only live performance I’ve found totally sucks. Since it started as my favorite and my last two years favorites (Slovakia 2010 and Poland 2011) commited suicide in the semifinals, I don’t have very high hopes, but I’ll cross my fingers anyway.

Denmark: Soluna Samay – Should’ve known better

This is Denmark, thinking they give a shit. But I had to stop it after 1:30, so I don’t. Seriously, how can some people think this is gonna win? The only thing I like about it is the chav playing cello (That’s brilliant! How come nobody thought of that before?). But the song is… just not. The bad part is that another song in the national final had almost guaranteed a third top 5 for Denmark. The worse part is that it was the favorite of all but one of the international juries, and was kicked out by the Danish televote. Now if this sinks to the second half of the table, and I think it will, Danes will wonder why Europe doesn’t like them anymore. Well, duh!

Russia: Buranovskiye Babushki – Party for everybody

You know things are near rock bottom when Russia is not giving a shit. I think this stage is the same they used for their Junior Eurovision final, and they’re sending something fun, lovable, and that doesn’t stand a chance of winning. (But if they do don’t worry, people, it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world)

Hungary: Compact Disco – Sound of our hearts

Remember what I said about Switzerland? You can copy and paste it  here word by word.

Austria: Trackhittaz – Woki mit deim Popo

This is Austria giving a shit. And it won’t flush away. I’m not gonna say more because if I did, I would have to be mean.

Moldova: Pasha Parfeny – Lautar

Moldova NEVER gives a shit and it’s not like they were gonna start this year. They just do their thing, wether that is a sax player rubbing his crotch on his sax, a monocycling fairy, a drumming babushka or, like it’s here, literally riding Gaga girls onstage. And somehow they always manage to make it work in their own, very Moldovan way, like that hippie brother you love even when he’s making you facepalm.

Once you get through the weirdness, this song has a great tune. The lyrics… would be better in their own language.

Ireland: Jedward – Waterline

Because if this guys with some song and some show landed them their first top 10 in forever last year, the same guys with the same song (well, a little better, I admit) and the same show are gonna do the same thing this year, right?

Wrong.

Aaaand that does it for for the first semi.

The five countries that totally should pass to the final:

Iceland, Greece, Cyprus, Romania and, just for my evil pleasure, San Marino.

The five that better sink in oblivion:

Montenegro, Latvia, Austria, Denmark and Hungary.

Let’s see, five more to complete the finalists:

Israel, Moldova, Albania, Finland… and I’m sure Russia’s gonna pass, so…

The cutest guy this semi is the guitarrist from Sinplus, and the cutest girl is a tie between Ivi and Eleftheria.

Why we shouldn’t fear the Babushki

By now I’m sure all the Eurofans have heard about the Buranovskiye Babushki, but just in case someone has been living under a rock, here they are. Of course, they’re one  of those all-or-nothing things that sometimes pop up in Eurovision: you either love them or hate them. Like Silvia Night.

They have caused a lot of turnmoil because they appear high on the odds, sometimes even placing three (below Sweden, that seems to be the red hot favourite, and Denmark, that I honestly don’t know how can even place in the odds). People here and there say that a victory for them will prove that Eurovision is all a big joke and it has no credibility left.

But I don’t worry at all. I would be annoyed if they win (because there are at least ten songs I like better, even if this year is a lot worse than the last three), but I don’t worry about the future, credibility and all that of the contest.

Why?

Well, just let me quote some people:

“This was not a song contest, it was a show”

“The absence of talent and the mediocrity of the songs were where annoyance set in. Eurovision is a monument to drivel” (This one comes from an official broadcaster statement. They withdrew the next year)

If you don’t recognize these quotes it’s because they are from 1981. Yup, 31 years ago. The first one if by the Swedish representative, and the second one is from the French broadcaster. Both were caused by Buck’s Fizz victory. Yeah, that act that now looks cute and kinda childish. France returned in 1983 represented by another TV channel.

Eurovision has “lost” its credibility lots of times. And depending on who you ask, it lost it in different times. Of course, United Kingdom wouldn’t say their win was a blow to the credibility of the contest, but their first last placing was. And the second. And the third. And basically every time they place outside the top ten.

If you ask Sweden, on the other hand, the British victory in 1981 destroyed the credibility of Eurovision. According to them, the contest lost all credibility again in 2010, when they didn’t pass to the final, and despite having no credibility left, it somehow managed to lose some more in 2011 because they didn’t win. And don’t you doubt it will lose even more if they don’t win this time.

If we ask Malta, the contest turned into a show and stopped being about the songs because Marie N beat Ira Losco thanks to a dazzling choreography. And the same when Helena Paparizou defeated Chiara by exactly the same means. We could go on and on with this, but it pretty much can be summarized saying that the contest loses all of its credibility every year.

At least according to some people.

So… yeah. I’ll be annoyed if the Babushki win, but Eurovision has managed to survive lots of things in its 56 year history, and it can manage to survive a winner that relies exclusively on shock value. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before, you know. In fact, I think it will be dealt with automatically just by the way the contest works:

If you want to win the contest, you need to stand out, either by having a good song (like France Gall), a great voice (like Sertab Erener), shock value (like… yes, Lordi) or a great staging (like Ell & Nikki). If you don’t have any of this, you can try by sheer force of charisma, like did Lena. (You can’t have all of it together unless you’re Ruslana, by the way).

In a year full of ballads, like 2012, non-ballads will stand out and have higher chances of winning. But, what would happen in the worst-case scenario if the Babushki win? If the contest becomes a mockery, with all countries competing to see who can send the biggest troll and the most absolute parody, how long would it take for the public and juries to get fed up of that?

In a generous calculation, less than a year. In a contest full of jokes, a good and serious act would stand out more easily, and the pendulum would swing again to the other side. And that is in the worst possible scenario, most of times the contest keeps a healthy mix of seriousness and trolling (even if I’m not quite fond of trolling acts, specially when the trolling is really obvious, they’re neccessary for keep the contest fresh and not too serious).

The short version: Don’t worry. I don’t think the Babushki will win. And if they do, Eurovision won’t lose any credibility. And even if it lost credibility, it doesn’t need credibility. And even if it needed it, it would be recovered pretty quickly.

Besides, you shouln’t fear the Buranovskiye Babushki because you can easily outrun them.

Big Culo Day 2012

Llevo tres años consecutivos uniéndome al Big Culo Day convocado por Jotacé, pero siempre he sentido que hay una gran injusticia detrás de este día: Demasiados culos de mujeres y muy pocos culos de hombres.

Así que, para remediar esto:





De nada.

Cómo puedo saber si mi novio es gay.

(Lo admito, el título está puesto  para atraer las búsquedas)

Aquí vamos, de forma clara y completamente honesta: NO. SE. PUEDE. Es imposible saber a ciencia cierta si alguien, quien sea, es gay. ¿La razón? Muchas veces aprendemos a disimular que somos gays incluso antes de ser conscientes de serlo.  Si una persona heterosexual intentara pasar UN DÍA ocultando su heterosexualidad se daría cuenta de lo difícil que es… pero tenemos bastante práctica.

Así que de entrada, no existen signos inequívocos que puedan decir si alguien (léase novio, hermano, mejor amigo, etcétera) es gay. Pero claro, siempre puede uno sacar pistas. Así que aquí abajo, en orden creciente de fiabilidad, hay cinco señales para saber si tu novio es gay:

5. Incomodidad frente a otros hombres.

Ésta es bastante simple: si un hombre está en el clóset es lógico que se sienta incómodo en situaciones de cierta intimidad con otros hombres, por ejemplo en el baño, o en un vestidor deportivo. Sobre todo si entra con alguien atractivo o abiertamente gay, porque el miedo a ser descubierto aumenta con cualquiera de los dos. Claro, una chica no puede entrar ahí, pero siempre se puede recolectar información a través de sus amigos/conocidos. Aunque claro, puede que no sea gay, sino sencillamente muy tímido. Como dije, es imposible saberlo a ciencia cierta.

4. Nombres, caras y situaciones.

Esta requiere observarlo interactuar con mucha gente y durante un largo periodo de tiempo. Si tu novio recuerda más fácilmente a otros hombres, así como las circunstancias en que los conoció, y tiene problemas recordando a las mujeres, puedes estar en problemas. En especial si recuerda más fácilmente a un hombre mientras más atractivo sea. Pero claro, de nuevo, es posible que simplemente su memoria funcione de forma rara.

3. Lenguaje corporal

Tanto si está sentado como si está de pie, un hombre tiene cierta tendencia a volver su cuerpo, todo o en parte, hacia alguien que encuentre atractivo. Observa a tu novio cuando está cerca de otras personas.  ¿Apunta con su cuerpo o cabeza hacia alguien? Si son otras mujeres, perfecto. Si son otros hombres tienes problemas. Si son otros hombres Y no vuelve su cuerpo de la misma forma hacia ti… bueno, tienes problemas. Pero de nueva cuenta, un chico heterosexual puede tener un lenguaje ambiguo, y uno homosexual tener el suficiente autocontrol para disimular incluso a un nivel tan sutil.

2. Lenguaje visual

Éste es el más sutil y difícil de analizar de todos, pero al mismo tiempo el más claro (aunque de nuevo, no es absolutamente infalible). Observa cómo es que la mayoría de los hombres miran a las mujeres, en especial si son atractivas. Las siguen con los ojos desde antes que lleguen y hasta que se van, y recorren sus cuerpos con los ojos. Observa con cuidado si tu novio mira así a otras mujeres (aunque puede que simplemente se esfuerce en no hacerlo estando tú presente). Si no lo hace puedes empezar a preocuparte. Si no lo hace, y mira así a otros hombres, puedes estar casi segura de que es gay.

1. ¡Honestidad, maldita sea!

¿Has pensado en preguntarle? En serio, si tu novio y tú no tienen suficiente confianza para poder preguntarle algo así y que comprenda por qué lo piensas si se lo explicas, deberías preguntarte qué haces andando con él en primer lugar.

Junior Eurovision 2011: Preview

Ok, this is gonna be really, REALLY rushed. I’m never before been thankful for a Contest having few entrants.

Russia sends Katya Ryabova with “Kak Romeo y Dzhulyetta”.

She’s back, bitches! Sorry, but I just can’t be impartial while judging Katya, I’m too much of a fan. And while I liked Malenky Prints even better, “Romeo and Juliet” is quite a powerful song. She just needs to get rid of the skating part of the act to be perfect.

Latvia sends Amanda Basmakova with “Moondog”.

Wow, she’s giving us a beautiful ballad. We have officially this year’s “Carobna noc”, as long as she can pull those pitches live. After sending a great song with a staging too conservative last year… they need to go conservative this year: this is the kind of song that can stand on its own. And Latvia gains the dubious distinction of having a Junior act way better than the Main one. (Yup, still hate Musiqq and probably always will)

Moldova is sending Lerica with “No-no”.

She’s got the grooooveeee! And with a song about the pleasures of abstinence! What the hell are doing Moldovan kids right now? When I was her age all I lost were stamps, and I’m not thankful to her for making me feel like part of an old generation. Still, I like the song, it’s got the grooooooveeee!

Armenia is sending Dalita with… “Welcome to Armenia”.

Hum… yeah. You got it wrong, Armenia. This goes before the contest. Where’s the real act? Wait… that’s really it? They don’t want to get anything this year. Unless the contest takes place right at the airport.

Bulgaria is giving us “Supergeroy” by Ivan Ivanov.

Ok, so Bulgaria got a young Eric Sade with full leather jacket and disco beat.  Who sings about being a superhero! How cute is that? Let’s add that he’s a hottie in the making (Yup, come back in six years, kid, and we’ll talk) and we have a total winning combo.

Lithuania sends Paulina Skrabyte with “Debesys”.

The second pretty cute ballad sung by a girl of the year. But this is… to lacking of personality. Not Paulina (Although she DOES try too hard to please her audience) but the song, I just finished hearing it and I can’t remember it. Not good. But at least here we know what she can do live.

Ukraine sends “Evropa” by Kristall.

There’s something wrong with Ukraine. They got powerfull acts with good rhythm and stuff, but somehow they never hit the right point with me. Pass.

Macedonia gives us “Zhimi ovoj frak” by Dorijan Dlaka.

Don’t you love them Junior Jazz Acts? Since Russia is too busy sending Katya to take care of them, Macedonia decided they would make sure that we get our jazz act of the year and man, don’t they do a great job. I love this… thing. Even if he’s really singing about a coat.

Netherlands sends Rachel with “Ik ben en Teenager”.

Rebecca Black would be so proud of this love letter to autotune. How about giving us her real voice so we can judge? The tune is not that bad, though.

Belarus sends Lidia Zabolotskaya with “Angely dobra”.

And… the third oh-so-lovely-girl-sung-ballad of the year! With a great voice, an acceptable song, some yelling to prove she’s doing it live and VIOLINS! See, Belarus? It’s that easy! You’re forgiven for the atrocity you sent last year.

Sweden sends “Faller”, sung by Erik Rapp.

Did I say Bulgaria was sending a young Eric Saade? As all TV lawyers say: I withdraw the statement. Sweden is, and they’re not even bothering with the name. From now on, all we’ll see from Sweden on Eurovison will be innumerable iterations or Ericness!

Georgia sends “Candy” singing “Candy music”.

Wow, a group. That’s weird. They’re scary and stuff, but what’s really disturbing is that, for a Georgian JESC act, they’re pretty normal and low-key.

And finally, Belgium sends Femke with “Een kusje meer”.

Girl really needs a better attitude. The song is good and catchy, but she’s KILLING it by looking terrified and moving like a robot. Sister, you need to BELIEEEEVEEEE IIIIINNN YOOOOUUURRRSEEEEELLLLFFFF!

Well, it was pretty easy, I must admit, and most of the songs, with the exceptions of Armenia and  Georgia, are quite good. Georgia is just too weird to judge and Armenia is totally lost.

So, here we go. If I were a country, my points would go to:

12 – Russia

10 – Macedonia

8 – Bulgaria

7 – Belarus

6 – Latvia

5 – Lithuania

4 – Belgium

3 – Sweden

2  – Moldova

1 – Netherlands.

Let’s see tomorrow (Or later today, to be accurate) how it ends.

Open letter to the 53%

USA is a nation full of slobs.

I’m sorry, but that’s the only conclusion I can reach after fourteen pages of The 53.

Let me tell you my own story:

I was born second of five brothers. During the ’96 crisis, all of our school uniforms and nearly all re rest of our clothes were hand-me-downs. But my mother had heatlh insurance in her work, and when we got sick, we were covered by it.

On my first part-time job, health insurance was paid in equal parts from deductions of my salary, from the company I worked for, and from the government. After four months of working, I was diagnosed with a hernia. I got a surgery and three weeks, fully paid, to recover.

It’s in our Constitution: everybody is elligible for healthcare programs subsidized by the government. It’s slow and has a big overload of people, but it works. And if you work for a company that pays its taxes, you enter the healthcare system I was in. That’s where our taxes go.

I was working while I was on the university, but I wasn’t working to pay the university. I was in a public university, and the semestral tuition is like… one and a half cents of dollar. The rest is paid by the government: that’s where our taxes go.

Have you seen the movie The Big Gay Musical? The protagonist, Paul, is feeling lonely and contacts a call boy, and upon being asked why did he engage in prostitution, he answers:

“I’m from Seattle. I go to New York State University, and this… this is how I pay for it”.

I was shocked. Not because he did it, but because someone HAD to do it, and said it as a matter of fact, just like it.

When I went to The53 website and saw people talking about working through all college, or getting loans and then spending the next 15 years paying for them, and I was amazed. Not because they were able to do that, but because they had to do that. Where I live, over one million students can go to public universities with tuitions of less than 100 dollars per semester.

I’ve never, EVER, known anyone who has to work two jobs to support their family. NEVER.  Both my parents work one job each, and with that we could eat, dress, buy a half-built house, finish building it, and me and my four brothers went to university. Both of them have eight days of fully paid vacation per year, which they can take whenever they need. Plus Christmas and New Year vacations and national festivities.

I live in a city where disabled and elderly people ride the subway for free.

I live in Mexico. All my life, I’ve lived here. This is what we call middle class in Mexico.

You’ve got a problem, USA.

I know, there’s poor people here too, and they are really fucked up. That’s why lots of them cross the river and work for you, USA. I’m not denying that. I admit that they have a lot more opportunities in USA to get out of poverty.

But the problem is that it works both ways: you have a lot more possibilities to end in poverty there, too. I’ve never, ever, met someone who lost their house because their son got cancer. Or because their father lost their job (remember Sam from Glee? That doesn’t happen here)

WHY?

How can it be that a country so small and poor, compared to USA, crippled by the drug war and with blatant poverty, manage to grant a great share of their citizens a level of security (in terms of health, house and education) that USA doesn’t?

Trust me, you’re not gonna like the answer.

Here’s the first half.

And here’s the second half.

That’s right. The money you pay with your taxes is being used by the government to save corporations deemed as “too big to fail”. Then, the corporations keep the same dynamic that led them to be rescued in the first time, keep the same leaders, give them a rise, and go on knowing that they will be saved if needed, again.

That’s what the 99% movement is going against. They don’t want your money in their pockets. They want everybody’s money (including yours) out of Wall Street’s pockets.

You say that you don’t want your money taken away from you and given to improductive sectors of society, who don’t even mind paying their taxes.

Then why do you allow exactly that to happen? The Wall Street enterprises pay a lot less in taxes than people who work for them (including janitors and secretaries with two jobs that belong to the 53%… that’s you, by the way). And if they need it, they receive money from the government (that got it from everybody who pays taxes… that’s you again, I think) with the promise of paying it off when they are profitable again, which could be never, because… well, they keep on charge the same people that screwed them for a start and give them raises.

That is happening to your money. You say Wall Street doesn’t owe you nothing. I think they do. They owe you what was taken from you to rescue them. And you, you owe NOTHING to them, so you shouldn’t let them do it. It’s your money what they’re using to save themselves, without giving you ANYTHING fromit.

You pay your taxes. Part of it comes back to you in the form of street maintenance, public lighting, etc. But not all of it. Lots of money are given to people who didn’t work for it, who didn’t do anything to deserve it and who are not giving you back ANYTHING. And that’s not the 99%, no. Those people are Wall Street.

That money should be going back to you and your children, in the form of healthcare, university funding, transport subsidies, and those other things that you lack, even working so hard, and that even middle class Mexicans can have.

Or, if you don’t want the government to give it to you, and prefer to get it by your own effort, then the money to make it happen shouldn’t be taken from you in the first place, and definitely shouldn’t go to someone who does not deserve it.

It shouldn’t be going to Wall Street.

That’s what the 99% are protesting for. They don’t want to have your money. They want YOU to have your money, themselves to have their own money, and Wall Street to get their (and only their) money.

They don’t want communism. They want justice.

No le preguntes a Google.

Edición no sé cuántos, simplemente porque tiene muuuuucho tiempo que no lo hacía.
Primero que nada, comenzaremos por las personas que realmente encontraron aquí lo que buscaban…
HOMBRES:

anderson davis culo

zac efron culo

benjamin godfre

rodrigo calazans

diogo provin

nathaniel david becker

sergey khorokhordin

raphael laus

leandro ghidini

leandro becker

rafael branciforti

joseph gordon-levitt

ale marchi

kris kranz

vinicius postiglione

nathaniel david becker

miro moreira

tyler lough

boy terra

En algún momento haré un post poniendo al menos dos fotos de cada uno de estos, simplemente para mantener a mi público contento. No es que vaya a ser demasiado desagradable para mí, claro.

Mención especial merecen los que buscaban a Cristiano Ronaldo. Creo que las distintas variaciones de “Cristiano Ronaldo” junto, antes o después de “culo”, totalizaron la mitad de las visitas a este blog.

A veces me pregunto por qué me molesto en escribir.

Otra mención para todos los que buscaron “Las mejores escenas gay del cine”. Espero que les haya servido mi post, pero recuerten: ES UNA OPINIÓN SUBJETIVA. Si tienen que precuntarle eso a Google, de verdad necesitan ver más cine gay.

Igual para los que buscaban resúmenes de “Alas nocturnas”, de Robert Silverberg. Mejor búsquenla y léanla. Lo vale.

Ahora… hay gente que definitivamente NO encontró lo que buscaba:

Eva Green boyfriend

Pregúntale a Wikipedia, no a Google.

lenguaje corporal gay, señales corporales gay

Tengo pendiente hacer un post completo sobre esto.

Distintas variantes de “Uniformes de porrista de hombre”.

NI. IDEA.

is Nathaniel David Becker gay?

Ni idea. Si lo averiguo… no voy a avisarte, porque voy a estar demasiado ocupado buscando la forma de casarme con él.

eurovision 2011 men with gold pants

ERROR. Los pantalones dorados fueron en el 2010. Pregúntale a Youtube (Sí, sé que es parte de Google. ¡Silencio, perras!) por “Michael von der Heide”.

Harel Skaat is handsome.

Bueno, estos ni siquiera le están preguntando a Google. Directamente se lo están diciendo.

harel skaat looks plastic

Y aparte, le están mintiendo a Google.

maybe harel want too much money eurovion 2010 

Y además, con especulaciones. Y me siento insultado por el hecho de que alguien que sepa de Harel Skaat sea incapaz de escribir “Eurovisión”.

oh my god oh my god you guys

Probablemente buscaban la letra…

hera bjork breasts, boobs of hera bjork

Ugh. Dude!

fotos de culos de hombres masculinos

Me sorprendería que buscaran culos de hombres femeninos…

sexy hugo weaving

Google. No. Hace. Milagros.

frases marat safin

frases para post-it

frases para la posteridad

Sorry.

Y por último, hay gente que ni siquiera tengo idea de qué estaban buscando:

como sobornar a una perra boxer dificil.

What the…?

god unicorns are real 4chan Ni siquiera puedo imaginar qué intentaban buscar. Y me da miedo intentarlo.

cómo crecen los colores

Lo más sorprendente de todo es que esta la buscaron TRES personas. Por separado.

is rocky from lackadaisy gay

No. Además, es un gato. ¡Un jodido gato! ¿A quién se le ocurre especular sobre la orientación sexual de UN JODIDO GATO?

anillos alex&co made in usa

Oooookeeeeeeyyyy. Ni siquiera se me ocurre cómo es que esto podría haber llevado a alguien a mi blog…

i have no words for that is so friki

The proper words are “That is so friki”. You’re welcome.

culos de cr7

Bueno, mientras no sean de C-4, todo está bien.

frases desestresantes

Hay demasiada gente buscando esto. En todas las encarnaciones de mi blog ha aparecido esta búsqueda. Me preocupa el futuro de la humanidad.

frases “producto de tu mente”

¿Eins?

viviendo los habitos

No comments.

anna-lena rubia

Anna probablemente es la de Eurovisión Junior. Lena es Lena. Ninguna de las dos es rubia.

annasophia robb fakes

¿Fakes?

frases colores

Te tengo malas noticias: eres quinestésico.

oh my god frase estupida

¡Oh my god, búsqueda estúpida!

viviendo con un heterosexual

No es tan difícil como parece. Simplemente hay que acostumbrarse a que no bajan la tapa del excusado y no tienen buen gusto musical.

frases para mi novio te quiero y solo me importa tu

Hay tantos chistes sucios que pueden hacerse con eso que no voy a molestarme en escribirlos…

anagramas de los colores

¿Eh?

harel skaat angelina jolie

Nunca creí que vería a alguien confundir a Harel Skaat con Eva Rivas…

culos de elefante

No. Quiero. Saber.

¡Feliz 20 de septiembre, USA!

Yep. Estados Unidos se acerca poco a poco a ser un país civilizado. Es de esas cosas que dan gusto.

Yup, USA is got a little bit closer to being a civilized country. Nice.

Recuperando posts: Frases para la posteridad presenta…

“Te quiero, no me importa el tamaño”.

Dicha por una chica a su novio en radio, con cobertura nacional y en hora de alta audiencia.

No comments.

Cuatro cosas que me habría gustado que me dijeran antes de entrar al gimnasio.

1.- No es sólo el gimnasio.
En serio, sólo ir al gimnasio, por mucho que uno trabaje, no alcanza. Hace falta un cambio completo de actitud y hábitos para hacerlo rendir.

2.- Vas a sentirte inadecuado.
En serio. Prácticamente cualquiera ahí va a ir más avanzado, por la simple y sencilla razón de que llevan más tiempo. (Por eso es que estás entrando, después de todo). La mayoría, sin embargo, son bastante buenas personas, pero aún así…

3.- A nadie le importa.
En serio, por muy inadecuado que te sientas, prácticamente todos en el gimnasio están ocupados en sus propios asuntos, y no les importa si tienes pelo en las piernas, sobrepeso o brazos huesudos. Mira a tu alrededor. ¿Ves a alguien mirándote?

Fin del asunto.

4.- Nadie tiene la verdad absoluta.
Éste es probablemente el más importante. Entre los entrenadores, los propios compañeros de ejercicio, libros e internet, hay una sobrecarga de información brutal, con consejos variados y muchas veces contradictorios. Ése es el momento en que es importante recordar que cada persona habla o escribe desde su propia perspectiva.

La única regla universal: mientras más dogmáticamente sea presentado un consejo, más hay que desconfiar de él.